


While you're saving the world, I'm stuck saving your girlfriend

by orphan_account



Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Curtwen, F/F, House Sitting, drunk barb, tatibarb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:15:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27093400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tatiana gets a surprise visit while she's house-sitting for Curt and Owen.
Relationships: Barb Lavernor/Tatiana Slozhno
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	While you're saving the world, I'm stuck saving your girlfriend

Curt and Owen were both going away on missions, which would normally mean that Mama Mega could come in and make sure the apartment didn’t fall into ruin. However, she was on vacation visiting her sister across the country. Curt didn’t want to bother Barb with the request, so he felt utterly defeated when he realized that Bastard would have to spend a solid three days alone.

  
That is until an old friend showed up at their door.

  
“Mega.” Tatiana’s thick Russian accent coated her voice; she was dressed from head to toe in all black, complete with black sunglasses. She’d managed to run away from the Russian assassins she’d been working for since she was a kid, but she still needed to keep a low profile. She’d committed too many crimes here in the US to hide out permanently.

  
That didn’t mean she couldn’t visit.

  
“Tatiana? Wha--?” Curt pulled her into a hug as soon as he saw her. He hadn’t seen Tatiana since she bid him farewell at the airport.

  
“I thought a surprise visit was in order. Plus, your mother told me you could use some help.”

  
Curt rolled his eyes while his head remained perched on her shoulder. _Of course Mom would force her to come here for the fucking cat._

  
“Ah, Tatiana. Good to see you, dear.” Owen ushered her inside, forcing Curt to pull away. “I was just about to head out to catch my plane. Can I trust you two alone together?”

  
“I am not sure. He has always been a little, how do you say...handsy, with me.” Tati flashed Curt a grin while Owen chuckled.

  
“Oh, yes. Agent Curt Mega, the world-famous womanizer.” He gave his partner, who had turned pink with embarrassment, an affectionate whack on the shoulder before placing a kiss on his forehead. “I’ll be back by Wednesday. Text me, will you?”

  
“Of course.” Thank god, he could focus his energy on bidding Owen goodbye instead of reliving that awful, awful memory of trying to kiss Tatiana back when he was still closeted.

  
“Alright, so tell me what I need to do.” Tatiana scanned the apartment once Owen was gone.

“So his name is Bastard…”

Curt had told Tatiana about Bastard’s feeding schedule, Owen’s plants’ water requirements, and how to use the TV. Once he left, she settled down on the couch and began to watcha documentary about world war two. After about an hour, she jumped--there was something rumbling in her ear.

  
Looking behind her tentatively, she suddenly relaxed. Bastard was staring down at her with giant gold eyes, his tail lashing back and forth.  
“Hello, Bastard.” She began to scratch his face while she turned back towards the documentary.

  
Around thirty minutes later, Tatiana was starting to grow hungry. She decided to order takeout, using her fake name and accent accordingly. She knew it probably would’ve been safe to speak normally, but she couldn’t risk it.

  
After hanging up the phone, she returned to sit back down next to Bastard. He must’ve been hungry too, as he began to gnaw on her pinky finger. The doorbell rang shortly after.

  
“Alright, kitty. Time for some real food.” She paused the documentary and got up to grab the money and open the door.

  
However, when she flung the apartment door open, she wasn’t greeted by a delivery man or the enticing smell of Chinese food. Instead, she was greeted by a tipsy Barb.

  
“Hey, Sexy…” Barb giggled, leaning against the door frame.

  
“Oh, hello Barb. Come in?” Tatiana figured that Barb could use a place to stay. Plus, if she stayed for a while, she could explain why the fuck she showed up in this state.

  
“I heard you were in town and I just had to say hello…” Barb crossed the apartment in what could be described as a saunter-stumble. “Pour me a drink, will ya?”

  
“No.” Tatianna sat down to Barb, who had plopped herself onto the couch and was resting her wrists on her thighs. “If you wanted to say hello, you could have simply e-mailed. What is the real reason you are here?”

  
“What, I can’t just visit my girl? I missed you!”

  
“Barb, I have not received a single call from you since I left.”

  
She let out a whine. “I know, it’s just….it’s hard, okay? You’re making this difficult.”

  
Tatiana didn’t respond, instead letting the silence soak the apartment until Barb couldn’t handle it anymore.

  
“It’s hard being in a male-dominated profession, okay? I don’t have anyone to talk to about Curt!” her lower lip trembled. “I know it’s stupid, but I still can’t get over him. I see the two of us working together and I just can’t help but think about how great of a team we’d make…”

  
“You two already work together, no? Does that not count as being a team?”

  
“It does, but I mean, like...a romantic team. He’s a guy, I’m a girl. He’s a cool secret spy, I’m a scientist. And he always attracts so many girls! It just seems like a perfect match.”

  
“You know,” Tati placed a sympathetic hand on Barb’s lap, “Curt said something similar about me when he was trying to convince himself he wasn’t, you know…”

  
“What? He liked you?”

  
“No. He thought he needed to like women in order to fit in.”

  
“Oh.” Barb was quiet for a moment, just staring at her hands. “I don’t think I’m gay.”

  
“Well, have you thought about it at all?”

  
“It’s hard for me to do that, Tatiana.” Sadness made Barb’s voice thick. “I went to an all-girls high school. It was really Christian, and that’s actually what inspired me to go into science.” She smiled a bit, tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. “The passages we read always used God as an explanation for natural phenomena, but I couldn’t help but think...what was the real reason?

  
“I couldn’t help thinking about what the real reason was for all of the homophobia in the world. Sure, God said it was wrong, but what was the natural reason? It wasn’t until I got to college that I found out that there wasn’t any.”

“So you have had all of this confusion in your heart since high school.” Tati gazed at Barb. “You are friends with Curt and Owen. You should know that there is nothing wrong with being gay.”

“I’ve made a lot of progress, I swear! I don’t judge people. I love Curt and Owen just the same. College really opened up my eyes. But...something about me being gay just feels wrong.” She couldn’t keep the desperation out of her voice. No matter what she did, she felt as though something was wrong with her, something that couldn’t be fixed.

  
“Barb, you must understand, these patterns of thinking will take years to unlearn. I have seen the way you treat Curt and Owen, and I know you are not, how you say, homophobic. But it may take a little longer to figure out your own feelings.”  
Barb let out a shaky sigh. The booze was starting to wear off, and their conversation was starting to feel more real. Before Tatiana could keep speaking, the doorbell rang.

  
“Would you like to stay for dinner?”

Barb and Tatiana were sitting at the small table in the kitchen, Tatiana with a glass of wine and Barb with a can of sprite. They’d piled their plates full of Chinese food, and even prepared Bastard a plate too.

“I’m sober now, y’know.”

  
“Just drink your sprite.”

  
Barb couldn’t help but notice the care in Tatiana’s voice as she gently chided her. A smile ghosted her lips, and her messy, red hair had spilled out of her normal ponytail and was now hanging loosely around her shoulders. She’d never taken the chance to just...notice Tatiana before. Barb had always felt drawn to her in some way, but she just assumed it was because Tati was the only other woman in the group.

“Why are you staring at me?”

  
“What?” She’d gotten completely lost in thought. Immediately, Barb averted her gaze back to her food and started to shovel it down. She’d think about her feelings later.

After Tatiana and Barb worked together to clean the kitchen, Tatiana picked up her Russian novel that had been resting on the couch. She was exhausted from this whole ordeal and needed some time to unwind. She trusted Barb enough to leave her alone in the apartment, especially since she clearly had sobered up.

“Feel free to stick around, just lock the door when you leave.” With that, she retreated to Curt’s room and began to read.

  
Barb couldn’t bring herself to leave yet. She didn’t know why, but the cold, unfeeling lab equipment back at her apartment didn’t seem appealing to her at that moment. No, what appealed to her most was being around Tatiana, hearing her life story, and feeling her blue-green gaze take her in.

  
Not even Curt had made her feel this way.

  
She strolled back over to the kitchen table and sat down, staring at Bastard, who was still licking the remains left on his place.

“Oh, sweetie, what should I do?”

Tatiana had been listening for the sound of the lock clicking. However, as more and more time passed, she realized it wasn’t going to come.

  
 _Well, if she wants to stay, she can stay._ She figured once Barb fell asleep, she could get up and lock the door herself. She turned her attention fully back to her book, reading the words out loud to herself in a hushed voice. She always did this when she was alone in an unfamiliar environment; hearing her native tongue always calmed her down and made her feel more at home.

  
Tatiana wasn’t sure how much time had passed since dinner. It felt as though she’d been reading for no time at all, but when she looked up and saw the shadow cast in front of the doorframe, she realized it was already pitch black out.

  
“Your voice sounds nice.” Barb murmured, not bothering to look inside the room.

  
“I can read a little louder if you’d like.” Barb heard the soft thump of a hand against the mattress and realized it was probably Tatiana beckoning for her to join.

  
Barb hesitantly shuffled in and sat at the edge of the bed. Tatiana picked her reading up again, and Barb couldn’t help but stare at her blue-green eyes scanning the page with purpose. Sometimes, Tatiana would get to a line and have to stifle a laugh, and even though Barb didn’t understand a word of what she was saying, she found the action so cute and funny she had to laugh along.

  
The night seemed to speed up once Barb sat on that bed. She didn’t know how long she sat there, but with each chapter, she grew more and more comfortable. She went from being perched on the edge of the bed, to sitting cross-legged and peering over Tati’s shoulder, to lying down, to having her head resting on Tatiana’s chest while she whispered the story into her ear.

Once Barb fell asleep against her, Tatiana resumed her usual, hushed reading voice, and began to run her fingers through Barb’s hair. It was smoother than she would have figured. After she whispered out the last paragraph of the book, she placed it down next to her and Barb, and shut her eyes, only focusing on the rise and fall of both of their breathing.


End file.
